Communication Tips for Engaged Couples: How to Start Your Marriage with Healthy Communication Habits
Photo by Draw Near Films
"Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger."
— James 1:19 (ESV)
At Draw Near Films, we’re not just wedding filmmakers—we’re a husband-and-wife team who knows firsthand how essential good communication is in a marriage. Over the years, we’ve learned that strong relationships aren’t just built on love; they’re built on trust, understanding, and open conversations.
As you step into this exciting new season, preparing for your wedding and the journey ahead, you might be wondering what it takes to build a solid foundation for a lasting marriage. While planning the perfect wedding day is exciting, preparing for a lifetime together is even more important. Healthy communication is the key to navigating life’s joys and challenges as a team, and building strong habits now will set you up for a marriage filled with love, respect, and connection.
Communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about truly hearing each other. Here are some tips to help you start your marriage with healthy communication habits.
1. Make Time for Regular Conversations
Life can get busy—especially with all the wedding prep! But one of the best things you can do for your relationship is to make time to just talk with each other, no matter how simple the conversation might seem. Whether it’s over dinner, during a walk, or before bed, it’s important to check in with one another.
These moments don’t need to be all deep and serious. In fact, it’s often the little, everyday chats that build the strongest connections. Ask about each other’s day, share your thoughts, and really listen. Regularly making space for these conversations helps both of you feel valued and understood.
2. Listen with Empathy
We all know how easy it is to interrupt when we're excited to share our side, but real communication is about listening just as much as it is about talking. When your partner shares something with you, try to really listen and understand where they’re coming from.
Instead of thinking about your next response or solution, focus on how they’re feeling. When you listen with empathy, you create a space where both of you can speak openly, knowing the other person is truly trying to understand.
3. Use "I" Statements, Not "You" Statements
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of blaming or pointing fingers when we’re frustrated, but that only leads to defensiveness. Instead of saying, “You never take out the trash,” try saying something like, “I feel frustrated when the trash isn’t taken out because it makes the house feel messy.”
By using "I" statements, you’re focusing on your feelings, which keeps things less confrontational. It makes it easier for your partner to listen and respond without feeling attacked, which makes for much healthier conversations.
4. Practice Patience and Take Breaks if Needed
Not every conversation needs to happen right this second—especially if things are getting heated. It’s okay to step away for a moment and come back to the conversation when you’re both feeling calmer.
Take a deep breath, go for a quick walk, or even just sit in silence for a bit to collect your thoughts. Giving each other space when emotions run high will help prevent things from escalating and allow you both to come back with a clearer mindset.
5. Celebrate the Wins, Big and Small
Healthy communication isn’t just about working through problems—it’s also about celebrating the good moments. Make it a habit to express your gratitude, joy, and appreciation for each other, whether it's a big milestone or something small, like making a delicious dinner together.
Simple “thank yous” or compliments can make a world of difference in making your partner feel loved. Celebrate the everyday wins, too—like getting through a busy week together or finding a solution to a challenge. These little moments of appreciation create a deeper connection and remind you both how much you mean to each other.
6. Address Issues Before They Grow
It’s easy to let little frustrations build up over time, but addressing them early on can save you from bigger issues down the road. If something’s bothering you, bring it up gently instead of letting it sit and fester.
By talking about things in the moment—when they’re still small—you can avoid letting them turn into larger conflicts. It also creates an atmosphere where you can both feel comfortable being honest with each other without fear of judgment.
7. Be Open to Growth and Change
You’re both going to change and grow throughout your marriage—and that’s a good thing! Communication isn’t a one-time fix, but rather an ongoing process. As you both evolve, it’s important to check in with one another, support each other’s growth, and adjust how you communicate as needed.
Stay open to learning new things about each other, even after years together. Growth in communication comes from being flexible, patient, and willing to adapt as your relationship deepens and changes over time.
In Conclusion
Your wedding day is just the beginning of a lifelong adventure with your partner. The key to a strong, lasting marriage is in building good communication habits from the start. When you listen with empathy, celebrate the small moments, and tackle issues together as a team, you’re laying a foundation of love, trust, and mutual respect.
"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."
— Colossians 4:6 (ESV)
The words you use and how you make each other feel matter. With intention, grace, and a whole lot of love, you’ll set the tone for a marriage that truly lasts forever.
If you're looking to capture your wedding day with the same care and attention that you’re putting into building your marriage, we’d love to chat. At Draw Near Films, we specialize in creating beautiful, cinematic wedding films that tell the unique story of your love. Reach out today to learn more about how we can bring your wedding day to life with a personalized touch.
